Lady Justice:  Who are you?  Please describe yourself in 30 words or less.

 

Gabriel:  I am a force for change in the world.  A 41 year old bear with a hunger for new experiences and a love for old ones that is never satisfied.

 

Lady Justice:  When did you first realize you were interested in leather/BDSM/fetish?  And how?

 

Gabriel:  At 22 the first man I dated and lived with was a Leatherman.  We met at a local bar in a small intolerant town.  The first night we met, he handcuffed me to the bed, left his vest chaps and boots on, and had his way with me.  After weeks of dating we moved in together, and we had one room to sleep in, and one room for play.  I liked being tied up and trying to get loose while he slapped me with his hands and a crop.

 

I had done all kinds of things to my genitals as a kid (tied them up, pumped water into my urethra, squashed them in the toilet seat (on purpose!)) Being with this guy brought a lot of that back to me.  I started exploring again on my own….

 

Lady Justice:  What are your hobbies?

 

Gabriel:  I read about 2 or 3 books each week.  I love to cook and eat. I like trying all kinds of new foods and eating experiences.  I go to historical reenactments (Renaissance to Civil War) through the spring and summer. Usually that entails a weekend of camping in a primitive tent, and dressing up in period clothing.  Oh and smoking a good cigar with some Maker’s Mark on the rocks.

 

Lady Justice:  What is your favorite quote?

 

Gabriel:  From Practical Magic, “My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!”

 

Lady Justice:  How long have you been involved in the leather community? 

 

Gabriel:  Since 1998 when I set foot in a little café in Seattle, WA… the Beyond the Edge Café. It was run by Allena Gabosch, who would later become the main driving force behind the Sex Positive Community Center (affectionately know as “the Wet Spot”).  I volunteered to be barista, cashier, and clean tables so I could meet folks.

 

Lady Justice:  Do you feel there is anything vital missing from today’s leather community?

 

Gabriel:  I am seeing folks who have been in the community for decades, and folks here for the very first time, but very few folks in the middle.  I think mentors are few and far between.  And the bridge that explains where our culture developed to the much newer members (just now joining our community) is hard to see.  I think books are great, but we need a historian, a living being telling the stories of where we started, at every gathering. 

 

As well since we get information from different sources in today’s world, those of us who don’t read everything we get in email need to have a live venue so we can listen to what the newer folks have to say about what they see out in the world.  How they have been impacted (good and bad) by the flood of images/writing/ etc. out there.  I would like to see ‘debriefing” sessions before during and after events.

 

Lady Justice:  What is your definition of a “leatherman”?  What are his responsibilities? 

 

Gabriel:  Someone that examines them self and finds somewhere deep inside a willingness to experiment and try things that scare them. 

 

I think a responsible leather man or woman needs to be willing to tell someone where they are (emotionally, physically).  They need to practice setting aside ego when it gets in the way, but pick it back up when they are negotiating what they have and haven’t tried, what they like and don’t like.  Responsibility is taking care of one’s self as well as family, friends, and community.

 

Lady Justice:  Do you have a partner?  If so, what do they think about your involvement in the community?

 

Gabriel:  Yes, I have been with my partner Michael for more than 10 years.  We have different modes of play, but we both enjoy being something more than we were.  He says he is proud of me that I use the skill I have to benefit the community.  He is impressed that I get ‘requested’ at so many different events.

 

Lady Justice:  What keeps you passionate about the leather community? 

 

Gabriel:  How we end up helping one another out.  No matter what someone needs, there is always someone willing to step up.  And I have always felt the best way to meet new folks is to volunteer.

 

Lady Justice:  I have seen you interpret at many events.  What inspired you to become an ASL interpreter?  And, how can someone best educate themselves on ASL if they are so inclined?

 

Gabriel:  When I was in high school in St. Louis, I wanted to be in the play “Children Of A Lesser God”.  I learned the spoken parts and the signed parts.  I didn’t get an acting part in the play, but did become an assistant director.  The interpreters on the project taught the parts, but because I had learned all the dialogue, I could sit in the back and critique how the signing looked.  I met several Deaf folks who were actors and patrons.  I started going to parties with my Deaf friends, and started learning more than just lines from a play. 

 

One day I met an interpreter at one of these parties that told me about her work. The money ($45.00/ hour), working for myself, and making my own schedule inspired me.

I would encourage anyone interested to look into classes rather than books or software.  Having a live person teaching you is best, and many of the teachers are Deaf. This keeps them employed.  Also, no matter how little you know, find some Deaf gatherings for practice.  Practicing with hearing folks will never make the grade.

 

Lady Justice:  What organizations do you belong?  Are you an officer of any of these groups?

 

Gabriel:  The Kentuckiana Kodiaks is a bear social group I attend on occasion but that is about it.

 

Lady Justice:  What is your stance on “Old Guard” versus “New Guard” leather protocols and rules?

 

Gabriel:  I don’t think I have lived in one place long enough (or been involved in the community in any one area long enough) to identify local customs.  I have read about Old & New guard protocols, but I don’t think I have done enough watching, or practiced them enough myself to make any kind of statement.  I know that there are some folks that dearly love the ceremony of Old Guard; but I think those ceremonies change from area to area. I know there are also some folks that the Old Guard rules don’t have a lot of meaning for.  In fact they feel restricted and confined by them.  I know that learning some of the history and origins of our community made a huge difference for me. 

 

Lady Justice:  Do others outside the leather community know you’re into leather?  If so has that created any difficulty? 

 

Gabriel:  A few of the individuals I work with do know about leather events I attend. I tend to keep work separate from my social life.  Yes my friends know about my involvement. I am pretty up front, so folks know better than to ask me something if they don’t want to know.  I am surprised by the folks that do ask. My parents do know better than to ask.

 

Lady Justice:  What qualities about yourself do you like the most?   The least? 

 

Gabriel:  I like that I am open and able to talk with just about anyone.  I am honest and straightforward which makes life much easier.  I like being polite and mannerly to everyone, it opens a lot of doors. The least attractive quality is that I tend to interrupt a lot. Oh and I am overly critical of bad English.

 

Lady Justice:  If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?  And if you could change anything about others, what would it be? 

 

Gabriel:  I preface this with the fact that I do find myself attractive, and love my life.  

 

Myself: I would have red hair; I think it’s freaking sexy!  And it mixes with grey really well.

Others:  Stop competing with each other and do some self-examination. 

 

Lady Justice:  You have one of the most diverse sexual preference palettes that I know of.... you’re queer-assed KINKY and I love it!  What turns you on in both a man and a woman?  Dish please.

 

Gabriel:  Men that like to be wet (in the pool, shower, river, waterfall), like to growl and bite, big butts, big calves. Guys that drool when turned on, with tongue piercings, septum piercings, and eyebrow piercings; facial hair, grey hair, male pattern baldness, and pretty much no cologne. Men with meat on their bones; bellies hard or soft, and if he can take his teeth out then he gets extra points!

 

Women’s hair and when they like to have it pulled. High heels that make their legs look so good.  Stockings with seams up the back, garter belts.  Girls that take charge and tell me what they want.  Or tell me what to do.  Long fingernails they can use on my chest or back. 

 

Everyone who likes to kiss, likes to communicate with touch and laughs during sex; when someone has a smile or look just for me. 

 

If they are taller than me, normally I feel submissive. If they are smaller than me I feel like daddy.  It turns me on when we explore each other with all 5 senses. I love oral sex with men and women. It turns me on when they are vocal while I blow them.  I like the smell of their skin when they sweat, the taste of body fluids they produce when they cum. I am into sex in the water.  I like taking showers with my sex partners. 

 

Lady Justice:  What is the last book you read that deals with leather and the last book you read that is a non-leather topic?  Why did you choose those books? 

 

Gabriel:  I most recently read several etiquette books as research for a role-play during a scene.  And I have been re-reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Brooks, because I knew it would make me laugh out loud.

 

Tell us more about your lifestyle in the BDSM leather world.  What are you into?  And, what’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done yet?

 

Gabriel:  I like using my teeth as well as my tongue, so biting is at the top of my list right now.  As for oral sex, I like to have a dick down my throat so I can’t breathe, and start to gag.  I have discovered I really like to spank and have found some great bottoms who tell me I am ruthless when I do it.  I like to be tied down and have my feet beaten. I like smoking a cigar during sex.  I like licking my cum off your boots. I am starting to explore bootblacking.

 

I have always wanted to be a butler in a large Victorian home.  Being ‘in between’ speaks to me.  I am under the master of the house, but I also control the household staff.  And polite manners are something I want to be effortless for me.  Staying calm and having an answer no matter what gets thrown at me.

 

Lady Justice:  When you flag, which colors do you wear?  Do you wear them on the left or the right?

 

Gabriel:  I am color blind, so flagging isn’t very effective for me.  I tend to be straightforward and ask!  If I did flag it would be Tan, Navy Blue, and Light Blue on right and left. Hound’s-tooth on the left.  Is there a color for sex in the water? (in the shower, tub, ocean, river, waterfall, etc)

 

Lady Justice:  Do you have a dungeon or play space?  If you do, tell us about it.  If you don’t, tell us how you would design your dungeon. 

 

Gabriel:  Yes I do have a play space.  The partner and I have worked on it for a couple of months now.  We have a sling, bondage chair (wrought iron, so it can be tilted and secured once a person is tied to it), spanking bench, a set of stocks, a tacky red velvet chair we use for a throne, a shower, a toilet, and lots and lots of tie off points on the ceiling walls and floor.

 

Lady Justice:  What's your favorite brand of cigar?

 

Gabriel:  Ghurka!  After 2 years of experimenting and tasting, the Ghurka brand is rich and heavy and that combined with Maker’s Mark on the rocks has me feeling decadent every time.

 

Lady Justice:  Do you remember your first time in a leather bar and what was memorable about it?

 

Gabriel:  It was the DC Eagle in the late 80’s.  They had 3 floors at the time. First floor was a normal bar with leather décor.  Second floor had pool tables and a clothing check, and the infamous back deck. Finally the 3rd floor had a retail space.

 

One Saturday, a friend and I jumped in his Trans Am (t-tops and all) and drove from Richmond, VA up to DC.  We got to the bar, each found a man to go home with, and then met back at the bar on Sunday morning for Bloody Mary’s and drove home.  This was a trip to be repeated at least once a month for the next few years.

 

Lady Justice:  Let’s pretend that you’re placing a 35 word personal ad in the column.  How would it read?

 

 Gabriel:  41 y.o. switch looking for play partners.  Can be a teddy bear or a grizzly.  Taking applications for Papa bear, baby bear, and Goldilocks.  

 

Lady Justice:  What do you think our community needs to successfully move into the future?

 

Gabriel:  When I work, I spend all my time listening.  Not just to voices, but to inflection, tone, word choices, and accents.  I learned early on that what folks say means one thing to them, but something different to someone else.  Not just through a cultural filter, but through the filter of their entire personal history.  I think we need to step back and start listening to what people mean, not what they are saying.   And most of the time it is not about you.  It’s about them.

 

Lady Justice:  Would you like to tell us more about any of your new endeavors?

 

Gabriel:  I am trying very hard to get on an episode of “Bizarre Foods” with Andrew Zimmern.  I am starting to do some bootblacking.  And I have been studying to be a butler in role-play situations. (At your service sir/madam!)

 

Lady Justice:  Is there anything else you’d like to share with us? 

 

Gabriel:  I have always felt that things that stay still are stagnant, and stagnant things are dead.  To live we need to be moving, and movement is change.  I am a force for change, for life.

 

Lady Justice:  Where can we find you online?  Do you have e-mail, business information, or a web site you’d like to share with us?

Gabriel:  I am on Bear411 as KYINSatyr, e-mail is gbrlmjrs@yahoo.com

 

INTERVIEW WITH TAMMY

 

 

Lady Justice:  Who are you?  Please describe yourself in 30 words or less.

 

Ms. Tammy:  I am a 42-year-old married leatherwoman, mother and Master to slave john. I've been involved in the BDSM/fetish community for eight years. I'm intelligent, emotionally stable, honest and respectful of others.  

 

Lady Justice:  When did you first realize you were interested in leather/BDSM/fetish?  And how?

 

Ms. Tammy:  I've always had some unusual interests. As a child I was excited by watching men's wrestling, instead of cartoons, on Saturday morning and I frequently found myself in trouble for biting other little girls. Along with adolescence came Rocky Horror and my love of transvestites. As an adult, some of those tendencies faded; but after a vanilla divorce, they re-emerged with a vengeance!  

 

Lady Justice:  What are your hobbies?

 

Ms. Tammy:  I enjoy reading, listening to music, playing with my dogs, spending time with friends and frequenting drag shows!

 

Lady Justice:  What is your favorite quote?

 

Ms. Tammy:  "Well-behaved women rarely make history." ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich 

 

Lady Justice:  How long have you been involved in the leather community?  

 

Ms. Tammy:  I have been involved in the Leather community for about five years; slave john and I were fortunate enough to have earned the title of Great Lakes Master and slave in 2004.

 

Lady Justice:  Do you feel there is anything vital missing from today’s leather community?

 

Ms. Tammy:  I don't believe the leather community lacks any vital component. Ultimately, we have the resources needed to create and maintain a healthy vibrant community. We have respected elders, preserved history at the LA&M, 24/7/365 communication at our fingertips, organized communities and events throughout the US that allow us the opportunity to meet and share experiences. One has but to take advantage of the resources created by those that came before us and utilize them in a healthy productive manner.

 

Lady Justice:  What is your definition of a “leatherwoman”?  What are her responsibilities? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  I define a "leatherwoman" as a person of any sexual orientation with a female gender, who embraces the history and customs of the leather community. She lives her life in a manner that demonstrates her commitment to maintaining the integrity of the community by actively supporting the endeavors of her leather brothers and sisters.   

  

Lady Justice:  Would you like to tell us about your boy and what makes him special to you?

 

Ms. Tammy:  My slave and I met seven years ago. He was collared in 2001. We were engaged in 2002 and married in 2004. john is my other half. We love and respect one another deeply. He anticipates my needs, maintains my home, and serves me with all his heart. In return, I provide for his needs and attempt to conduct myself in a manner that makes him proud to be my property. He's also pretty cute and has a nice ass!

  

Lady Justice:  What keeps you passionate about the leather community? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  My passion for the community is rooted in learning about the "individuals" that create its diversity. I have always been fascinated by various personalities, kinks, gender fluctuations, relationship structures, rituals and the variations within the community itself.   

  

Lady Justice:  What has been your largest obstacle to overcome as a leatherwoman?

 

Ms. Tammy:  Personally, I have encountered limited obstacles. I have been fortunate to have two wonderful leatherwomen to assist me with my journey: Ms Kendra McClain of Indianapolis and Ms Constance of Louisville. I have on occasion met leathermen that were rude and condescending, but rarely directly to my face. Once while walking through a vending area at an event, I overheard a very well respected leatherman introducing a young leatherman to various types of floggers. He commented how the 'bunny fur ones are for those leatherwomen.' And no, he wasn't trying to make a joke. He must not know any of the leatherwomen that I know!

 

Lady Justice:  What is your stance on “Old Guard” versus “New Guard” leather protocols and rules?

 

Ms. Tammy:  I have a great deal of respect for the Old Guard and for those men that constructed and shaped it. I was not brought into the Leather community via the Old Guard tradition. While not beginning my journey as a submissive, I have learned to respect those persons that are my senior in the community.  I make a genuine effort to honor many of the traditions, but realize I will always fall short. In the end, I respect the Old Guard traditions, but consider myself New Guard; to call myself anything else would disrespect the traditions of those that came before me. .

  

Lady Justice:  Do others outside the leather community know you’re into leather?  If so has that created any difficulty? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  Most of my vanilla friends, and some of my family members, know of my involvement in the Leather community. Even if they don't know exactly what to call it, most that know me understand that my slave and I are not the typical married couple. Some know the more intimate details of the Leather lifestyle, while others do not. I have not had any difficulties with regards to my involvement, but I try to conduct myself in a manner that would not invite problems into my life.

   

Lady Justice:  How do you balance your family life and your leather life?

 

Ms. Tammy:  Balance is a difficult thing to achieve. I am a parent, and I take that job very seriously. While I am certainly not June Cleaver, I am attempting to raise my children to be happy, loving, respectful, freethinking individuals. My activity within the Leather community will always be deferred in favor of time with my family. Therefore, my time to attend events and parties can be limited. 

    

Lady Justice:  What qualities about yourself do you like the most?   The least? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  I am proud of my honesty, integrity, education, and practicality. I am a fierce advocate for persons living with mental illness and dementia. I am proud of being a Mom and having fabulous kids! 

 

I am most disappointed that I don't always have the energy to do all the things that I want to do.    

 

Lady Justice:  If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  If I could change anything about myself, I'd like to eliminate fatigue and procrastination.

 

Lady Justice:  And if you could change anything about others, what would it be? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  Oh my!! Be accountable for your actions. Think before you speak. Don't type words on a screen that you aren't willing to say to someone's face. Stop whining and do something to effect change. Don't perpetuate negativity. Be proactive with communication, rather than reactive. Take the time to learn both sides of the story. 

  

Lady Justice:  You were presented with an earned piece of leather last August in a touching ceremony.  When you hear someone say the phrase "earning your leather" what first comes to mind?

 

Ms. Tammy:  I was indeed honored to earn a leather vest at GLLA this year. It was a complete surprise! When someone earns a piece of leather, I am reminded of two aspects of our community. First, we are blessed that there are persons within the community that have earned the right to honor the tradition of presenting leather.

 

Secondly, recipients earn a sense of validation and respect for demonstrating positive characteristics becoming of a leatherperson. Earned leather ceremonies strengthen and foster a sense of camaraderie and community.

   

Lady Justice:  What is the last book you read that deals with leather and the last book you read that is a non-leather topic?  Why did you choose those books? 

 

Ms. Tammy:  The last leather book would be The Leatherman's Handbook II by Larry Townsend. I chose to read it because it was a necessary part of my journey. I wanted to learn about history, traditions and protocol.

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