December 2007
Part Four
12/28/2007 WVQN LEATHERBEAR ARTICLE 23:
WHAT DOES LEATHER BEAR PRIDE MEAN TO YOU? (originally published 08/10/2007)
08/10/2007 ARTICLE 3: WHAT DOES LEATHER BEAR PRIDE MEAN TO YOU?
I am ecstatic with the response and participation to my LeatherBear Challenge that I introduced in my column last week. I am both excited and proud to share the results with my readers this week. All entries were placed in my black leather policeman hat, and the lucky winner of Summer 2007 Magazine Edition of A BEAR’S LIFE is Larry Ponson from Memphis, Tennessee. His magazine will be sent to him today.
I have compiled the answers from everyone and listed them below. The answers to the questions of what the three terms of Leather, Bear and Pride mean to you, signifies that there are various interpretations to these terms, but they also imply that there is a common thread and bond within these communities.
From: Larry Ponson <larry_ponson@interkc.net>
LEATHER: The first words that come to mind are brotherhood, passion, sensual, erotic, secure; a very special group within a group. Three years ago, if you asked me this question I probably would have said sexual deviants; I based my opinion on what I saw at a bar and knew that was not for me.
In 2005, I volunteered at my first leather event in Indianapolis helping out with security. My friend is the coordinator for the event; I brought no leather with me, and planned on staying in my room when I was not working. The first day was as I expected lots of people dress in attire that lacking a better word made me gawk. There were transsexuals, slaves, and boys being led around on leashes, people being flogged for the most minor indiscretion, even people eating out of pet dishes. The night went on and I started relaxing and watching not with my eyes but with what I felt and started understanding the love the couples had for each other.
The second day of the event, I ventured out and started chatting with the boot blacks and watching the passion and dedication they put into their work. I spoke to many people finding a richness and sense of kinship that I have not felt at any previous event; this led me to spending very limited time in my room and wanting to assist in every event. The greatest pleasure I had was when a particular lady made the comment that I treated them better than their own slave; hope he did not get beat to hard for that, grin.
Looking back, leather to me means family being comfortable with who you are and respecting everyone for who they are and not what they wear. These days I do have leather hanging in my closet and find myself closing the door and taking in the smell and the feeling it bring out in me. I will be attending the same event for the third year now and look forward to it more than ever.
LEATHER is not so much about the clothing as the idea that it sends. It allows people to explore their masculine side. All too often we are labeled as effeminate in straight society and this is just another way we challenge the boxes we get put in.
FROM: Dan <wranglerman9@aol.com>
I have compiled the answers from everyone and listed them below. The answers to the questions of what the three terms of Leather, Bear and Pride mean to you, signifies that there are various interpretations to these terms, but they also imply that there is a common thread and bond within these communities.
From: Larry Ponson <larry_ponson@interkc.net>
In 2005, I volunteered at my first leather event in Indianapolis helping out with security. My friend is the coordinator for the event; I brought no leather with me, and planned on staying in my room when I was not working. The first day was as I expected lots of people dress in attire that lacking a better word made me gawk. There were transsexuals, slaves, and boys being led around on leashes, people being flogged for the most minor indiscretion, even people eating out of pet dishes. The night went on and I started relaxing and watching not with my eyes but with what I felt and started understanding the love the couples had for each other.
The second day of the event, I ventured out and started chatting with the boot blacks and watching the passion and dedication they put into their work. I spoke to many people finding a richness and sense of kinship that I have not felt at any previous event; this led me to spending very limited time in my room and wanting to assist in every event. The greatest pleasure I had was when a particular lady made the comment that I treated them better than their own slave; hope he did not get beat to hard for that, grin.
Looking back, leather to me means family being comfortable with who you are and respecting everyone for who they are and not what they wear. These days I do have leather hanging in my closet and find myself closing the door and taking in the smell and the feeling it bring out in me. I will be attending the same event for the third year now and look forward to it more than ever.
BEAR: Masculine, secure, furry (though not always a requirement) should have at least face fur though. The bear group is like so many labels a sub-set of a larger group not just a gay word anymore. Men that when they speak exude masculinity; no silk purses fall out when they talk. The hands can be but does not need to be soft and smooth not afraid of getting dirt under their nails or changing their own oil.
My favorite type is the blue collar, blue jean flannel wearing ones. They are more concerned not with looking good but how they treat people. We all wear mask when we tread in the world though a bear is confident enough to be himself when he is with his own kind.
My favorite type is the blue collar, blue jean flannel wearing ones. They are more concerned not with looking good but how they treat people. We all wear mask when we tread in the world though a bear is confident enough to be himself when he is with his own kind.
PRIDE: Self confident, not ashamed of your beliefs and values, willing to take a stand. I am a gay man and even though I do not stand on the corner screaming queen I will not hide the fact if someone asks me.
Several years ago I was a manager for a restaurant and was approached by a young lady that had a crush on me; after hearing her story and telling her she was not my type I went back to work. By the end of the day everyone knew I was gay were I worked; at first I was dumbfounded how would that effect my job etc. The next day I was taking a lunch and one of my employees, a man, was beating around the bush and wanted to ask if the rumors were true; something snapped inside me and I, matter-of-factly, said yes it is and asked if they had an issue with it.
That was a pivotal moment when I understood I should not be ashamed of who I was and decided I would not hide myself behind the ruse of a straight person; within a year I was out to my family and found out that even though they may not agree with my life they love me for who I am.
I have been out of the closet for about 10 years now and do not regret my decision about facing my demons; still looking for the one that I want to share my life with though I know now what will make me happy
Several years ago I was a manager for a restaurant and was approached by a young lady that had a crush on me; after hearing her story and telling her she was not my type I went back to work. By the end of the day everyone knew I was gay were I worked; at first I was dumbfounded how would that effect my job etc. The next day I was taking a lunch and one of my employees, a man, was beating around the bush and wanted to ask if the rumors were true; something snapped inside me and I, matter-of-factly, said yes it is and asked if they had an issue with it.
That was a pivotal moment when I understood I should not be ashamed of who I was and decided I would not hide myself behind the ruse of a straight person; within a year I was out to my family and found out that even though they may not agree with my life they love me for who I am.
I have been out of the closet for about 10 years now and do not regret my decision about facing my demons; still looking for the one that I want to share my life with though I know now what will make me happy
Larry Ponson
Memphis, Tennessee
From: Charlie Rouse <charlieboiwv@aol.com>
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LEATHER is not so much about the clothing as the idea that it sends. It allows people to explore their masculine side. All too often we are labeled as effeminate in straight society and this is just another way we challenge the boxes we get put in.
BEAR is more of the same as above but within our own community, and when I say that I mean that we as a culture can sub divide ourselves. Bears typically challenge the status quo within the gay community by saying that it is ok to be a bit heavy or hairy. That we all aren’t born gym bunnies and we can accept our bodies the way they are.
PRIDE means being who you are. Not being afraid of who you are, and being open with the world. Many of us can not celebrate our love for one another for fear of losing a job. It also means community to me. It means that we have work to do to build Pride in the state.
Charlie Rouse
Charleston, West Virginia
FROM: Dan <wranglerman9@aol.com>
LEATHER to me is a source of pride and strength with masculine real men that love real mean.
BEAR is again real men who love real men, but also it open to everyone regardless of their age, size, amount of body hair, etc. as none of that matters. It ‘s all about friendship and love.
PRIDE is to be happy and proud with one self and to not be afraid to share that "self-love" with others.
Don
Cincinnati, OhioLEATHER has a few meanings to me. There are the serious leather men who live and breathe the extreme lifestyle of the leather community, i.e.: bondage, S/M, full leather regalia, motorcycles, cigars, tattoos, and Daddy/Boy relationships. Then there are those who like to dress in more subdued leather attire, i.e.: jackets, gloves, and pants but may or may not get into the extreme.
As far as the definition of a BEAR, I have heard many definitions of what we consider a bear to be. But, to me, a bear is a husky, beefy man with lots of body, and facial hair. In my opinion a bear doesn't have to be a tall man either. There are some very hunky bears that aren't that tall.
To me PRIDE is an emotion that you have for something you hold near and dear to your heart. It can be something like your ancestral heritage, or your sexual orientation. Whatever it may be, it is something that makes you feel good about who and what you are!
Jason Riggs
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
FROM: Ms. Kendra <egyptes@sbcglobal.net>
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LeatherBear, thank you for including me in your challenge. I appreciate it so much. This is a picture of Me and Slave Garrett. Hope to see you at GLLA weekend August 24 - 26 in Indianapolis, IN. All the details about the event is available at http://www.greatlakesleather.org
LEATHER means family to me. Leather means the feel of the hide next to my skin. Leather means hot steamy sexy...
BEAR means family as well to me. Bear means a sexy man with wonderful hair patterns on his body. Bear means I get-to-get "bear hugs" which I love. I love it, love it. Bear means hairy muscular men who are wonderful to be around.
PRIDE means that I am proud to be a part of the gay community. As a heterosexual woman I have always found my home in the gay mans leather & bear communities. I feel much pride to be considered in this wonderful family and cannot imagine my life without it. I would feel empty inside without it.
Ms. Kendra
Great Lakes Leather Alliance
From: Lyn Wilson <Bron711@aol.com>
Here are my simple answers to the challenge questions:
LEATHER is a man that has a liking for aggression, mostly without passion.
BEAR is a hairy man with a belly.
PRIDE is not being ashamed of who you are.
Lyn Wilson
Columbus, Ohio
From: Mike Bradley <chevycub4u@yahoo.com>
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For the meaning of LEATHER, it is symbolized by a Leather Flag, which encompasses those who are into leather, Levi's, sado-masochism, bondage and domination, uniform, cowboys, rubber, and other fetishes. The flag was created by artist Tony DeBlase and first displayed on May 28, 1989, at the Mr. Leather contest in Chicago. Although the flag is often common in the gay community, it is not a "gay-only" symbol. Reportedly, gay leather aficionados might also modify a rainbow flag to have a black stripe instead of a violet one. I feel it symbolizes masculinity with fashion. I feel that most men who are gay, and still want to feel masculine, with a sexy look, are more into this. I am not saying that feminine guys don't wear because I have saw some who do. All in all I feel it has to do with being fashonable and being comfortable about who you are,
For the meaning of BEAR, it is displayed by the Bear Pride Flag, which is a symbol used by some "bears," gay men marked by an abundance of hair on their face, chest, and body. Bears also tend to be older, and perhaps larger or chubby. There does not seem to be one single symbol that represents bears in general. Rather, there are many symbols that have been adopted by local clubs, bars, and other bear groups. I do not necessarily agree that all bears are older, I feel someone can be in their 20's and classify themself as a bear. Most people in the gay community call them " Cubs". In my opinion, you classify yourself, whatever you feel like being called. Just whatever the age or hairiness, be proud of who you are.
As far as PRIDE, I wrote about that topic in detail in one of my articles back in June, but PRIDE to me means being proud of who you are as a person and the lifestyle you were born to live. Life is too short to worry about what society thinks we all should be and how we should live. Not saying anything against religion, we all have heard and we all see what is written about the whole GAY topic, but in your heart, if you live, love, be loved, treat people right, help people in need, and be the best person yo ucan be, I do not see anything wrong with being gay and loving someone from the same sex. PRIDE means standing up for what you believe is right inside your heart. My advice is, live, love someone, let yourself be loved, live happy, and the best person you can be in all situations and be PROUD!!!!!
Mike Bradley
Elkview, West Virginia
From: Terry Urban <wvasqueernews2@aol.com>
LEATHER: This means a lot to me. I am not into it, but I do find it very interesting and stimulating to say the least. Where I do not find that being owned would be something that I find possible, I feel that I am a very submissive person in a lot of ways, especially sexually. I also find some of the kink hot, love to have my nipples twisted and my butt smacked. I feel that the leather community is nothing more than another diverse facet of our community, and that they are just a lot more outspoken with who they are, yet they lead rather private lives except within the walls of their homes and their community.
BEAR: This means a lot to me. I am one, so I recognize myself as such. I am not one who dresses to impress. I am just an ordinary guy who loves masculine man. I feel that I represent a group of guys who are not a lot about the appearance and the way someone dresses. We are more about the person inside. On another note, the bears are just hot, sexy, ordinary, boy next door types and grrr do they make the temperature rise.
PRIDE: Accepting who you are. It is a state of mind that recognizes what a special person you are. I feel that having pride in yourself boosts your ego and also makes others take notice of the person you are. They see beyond the looks, but to the heart of a person. The things that make him stand out in a crowd. It's achieving the highest of compliments without hearing it. Pride is something people should take in themselves, if we had more people with self-pride, this community could seriously work on problems within our own community.
Terry Urban
Parkersburg, West Virginia
From: Jim Lawson <webcowboy42@aol.com>
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LEATHER: To me, Leather is a community consisting of an enlightened and nonjudgmental group of people that have succeeded in overcoming social restraints and stereotypes. It is not a fetish, but something much deeper. I believe we have no more choice of our sexual preferences and the things that excite us, than we do of our sexual orientation. They are characteristics that we are born with and they are present in our sense of sight, smell, taste, touch and audio stimulation. We can conceal what turns us on, but we really cannot control them. There is no room for stereotypes in this 'philosophy of life'. Once you close your mind and stop accepting others, then you have stepped outside of the 'Leather Lifestyle'.
There are also no certain looks or body frame types within this community. Leather is a matter of the heart. It is not how you look in your leather, but how it makes you feel. It is also not about codes, standards and props. These are merely guidelines for beginners and those at a more novice level of interest.
Looking closer into the area of domination, I believe the sole purpose of two people in this situation is to please the other by acts of role play, by proving your loyalty to this person and a commitment to make them happy. A slave's role is not just submission to his master. He should want to and learn how to make his Master happy. Sometimes he must prove this loyalty by acts involving humiliation or punishment for disobeying as a means of correction and education.
A master should love his slave and not just want to inflict pain, but to help him grow and act as a teacher. He should be stern, but can be loving at times. He is human. He should reward his slave when he is good. He should also protect him at all times and not expose him to anything that could place his life in danger. He should be in control of the slave's sex completely.
There are also those who masquerade their promiscuity by living among those of the leather community. They are really not leather at heart, but are willing to play along to just be part of the sexual scene. There are other names for these people and they are the one's who create the misconceptions and negative stereotypes often placed on this community.
One misconception being the absence of love in these relationships. Although, many of these sexual acts seem very cold and non compassionate, without the presence of love their intensity diminishes. There can also be monogamy within the leather community and this should never be looked down on; it deserves recognition of a much stronger character than most have been able to build.
BEAR: I view this as a lifestyle not a label. There is also much diversity within this community. I think this philosophy incorporates a desire for a simple lifestyle involving nature and a 'cut through the chase' attitude. These people 'Bears' are comfortable within their own skin and want to be recognized for who they are and not an image standardized by society. They are people of all shapes and sizes. Although, they appreciate the basics and simplicity of life they are often complex people.
These men may or may not appreciate a country type lifestyle. They are NOT rednecks. That is a misconception. They are often the opposite. I believe they are enlightened and educated to a point that they often are amused at social standards and conduct of the majority. They see natural beauty in diversity.
Although they are often characterized by body hair, thicker body frames, facial hair, etc., these are, once again, stereotypes and are not always the case. Bears can also be very feminine in nature, while displaying a masculine appearance. They can be very much stereotypical gay and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. They want to be themselves and that means they can be anything they want to be. Bears are also free loving. I think many of us, like LeatherBear, are a crossbreed between the Leather and Bear Communities and I am appreciative that he is exploring this fusion of lifestyles.
For more information, I encourage you to review The Leatherman Handbook and The Bear Handbook in addition to the Leather Pride Flag and the Bear Pride Flag
In Leather Bear Pride,
Steven Tompa
PRIDE:: We display many forms of Pride though everyday life. I don't, necessarily, view it as being proud of our heritage or our sexuality. I think it involves more of being proud of our acceptance of these things and our personal growth of who we have become and not who we were told or even thought we should be. It is the discovery that we are all unique and it is our appreciation for diversity.
It has become symbolic of our overall achievement as a community. It is about standing proud with the one we choose to love without shame. It is about declaring our equality and rights as an individual without the social restraints, stigmas and religiously based declarations of how we should behave and conform.
It is about positive affirmations of who we are and our place in a productive society.
Leather, Bears and Pride are all part of who I am. They add the colors to the rainbow!
Jim Lawson
Charleston, West Virginia
I would like to thank everyone who participated and provided their unique meanings of the three terms Leather, Bear, and Pride. It's made obvious through the LeatherBear Challenge, that we all have our own ideas and interpretations of the terms, yet all of the responses suggest a common thread and bond within our very diverse LGBT community.
Jim Lawson
Charleston, West Virginia
I would like to thank everyone who participated and provided their unique meanings of the three terms Leather, Bear, and Pride. It's made obvious through the LeatherBear Challenge, that we all have our own ideas and interpretations of the terms, yet all of the responses suggest a common thread and bond within our very diverse LGBT community.
For more information, I encourage you to review The Leatherman Handbook and The Bear Handbook in addition to the Leather Pride Flag and the Bear Pride Flag
In Leather Bear Pride,
Steven Tompa
bravenet.com